You Know You’re an ER Nurse When…

  1.  You can’t walk around town without seeing your frequent flyer drunk/homeless clientele panhandling/getting arrested/participating in other questionable activities…

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    See you in two hours bob when you are “found passed out in park” …again

  2.   You are not shocked at all to hear that your patient with the black eyes who got the shit beat out of them was  just “minding their own business”

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    could’ve had me fooled

  3.  your patients mistake you for a flight attendant/waitress/maid…
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    Yeah Susan, I’ll get right on that, after I finish doing CPR on Mr. B over here.

     

  4.  When you think anyone who isn’t on a critical drip or on a vent is “fine”…

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    go home

  5. You have perfected the art of listening to a patient describe what is “accidentally stuck in my vagina/rectum” without making a facial expression…

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    and how did you say it got up there? OH you fell…

  6. When you are more afraid of bed bugs than TB and MRSA…
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    brb going to douse myself in bleach in the decon room

     

  7.  You can talk about room 8’s profuse diarrhea , the maggots crawling out of room 24’s leg wound and the homeless pt’s trench foot all while simultaneously eating your dinner like it aint no thing…

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    i’ll have some fries with that

  8.  You are banned from talking about anything work related at family/holiday dinners because last year you made everyone throw up and aunt Jane almost passed out

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    “what ? we all poop, its normal you guys”- me trying to rationalize my topic of choice

  9.  You are wish ther was such thing as nebulized/aerosolized Ativan

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    *dreams of peaceful waiting room and happy patients*

  10. You know what a B52 is…

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    no caption necessary

  11. Your patient in triage doesn’t want to wait  and threatens to leave and “call an ambulance and  so I can get right in to a room”…

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    great idea carol no one has thought of that before. also surpise, you’re still going to triage

  12.  You would rather take care of a coding patient than a cyclical vomiter…
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    *literally finds anything else to do besides take care of cyclical vomiter*

     

  13.  “Stop doing drugs”, “Stop drinking alcohol”, “Make better choices” are all legitimate d/c instructions

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  14.  You are constantly  checking out random people’s veins everywhere you go & mentally choosing what size IV you’d use

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  15.  You’ve had a patient walk into triage/come in by ambulance with multiple suitcases/luggage bags in tow

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    “better bring all these bags in case Im admitted”

  16.  You are angry for no reason, have zero form of emotion and tell the most vile stories and jokes without blinking an eye

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  17.  Your normally noncompliant diabetic patient requests food/a sandwich because ” I am diabetic and I haven’t eaten”

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    interesting how you don’t check your blood sugars regularly or take your insulin but let me stop everything I am doing to make sure you get a sandwich for all that insulin you did NOT take.

  18.  When you’re assessing the level of orientation of a patient and you aren’t even sure of the answer

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    wait it’s Tuesday,right?

  19.  when you are in triage and ask the AOx3 patient who ambulated in with soda &chips in hand what their emergency is and wait for them to put on the theatrics…

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    “pt states he literally can’t even”

  20. When your patient doesn’t want to be discharged for whatever reason (doesn’t want to d/c to jail, wants more pain medication, a warm bed to sleep in…etc) and drops the SI bomb

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    drunkacidal is a real thing

  21.  You know that LOL means little old lady

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    arriving by ambulance , ETA 5 min to room 5: LOL FDGB

And finally, You know you are an ED nurse when you put up with all of this, and keep coming back to work because you love your job & can’t imagine doing anything else.

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But honestly, the list goes on and on. What are some other reasons you know you are an ED nurse? Comment to share! 

**disclaimer: ED nurses are subject to some of the weirdest, most bizzare, emotionally upsetting, physically exhausting scenarios you could ever imagine. This post is meant to be something that ED nurses can relate to and laugh over, in order to cope with some of the craziness we deal with. This post in no way is meant to be rude, or hurtful to any group(s)of people– it is only meant to be satirical and something us ED nurses can laugh and bond over after a crazy day/week/month/etc.

 

 

 

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17 Things Almost every RN can Surely Relate To

If you’re a nurse- regardless of what your specialty is- I am sure you will be able to relate to some of these! Again, I can’t emphasize how much that I love my job and my patients but sometimes nursing can be so difficult that we need to have an outlet for little humor to make it all balance out. Do you agree?

1. Having a patient on precautions and feeling convinced that you now have MRSA/C-diff

2. The moment that super overbearing and annoying family member leaves

3. The patient is smiling and moving around in bed but when asked to rate her pain she says 9/10 after pushing on her belly.

4. Those awkward times when you’re not sure if you actually have free time or you’re just forgetting something.

5.Whenever a patient says “Well I read on the internet/wedMD…”

6. When you hear the IV pump start alarming as soon as you get back to the nurses station.

7. Care plans…

8. When your rude and verbally abusive patient threatens to sign an AMA

9.  You finally help to get your patient to fall asleep around 5 am only for them to be woken up by all the med students and residents an hour later… #nightshiftproblems

10. Your family and friends tell you EVERYTHING (I mean no holding back) about themselves in hopes you can diagnose them. “I know this may be TMI but…”

11. When someone says “you’re soooo smart” &  asks why you didn’t go to med school and become a doctor.

You’ve got some nerve…

12. Leaving work and always awkwardly saying “have a good night… I mean, sleep”

I really can’t be sure what day of the week it is

13.  It doesn’t matter if you are running around sweating for the entire 12 hours, somehow your hands will ALWAYS be ice cold.

14.  When your non-healthcare friends think that you get to take naps/sleep during the night shift…

15. The patient who is so complicated &needy who monopolizes your time thus making you feel like you didn’t provide optimal care to your other patients (who happen to be nice and normal).

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16. How I feel at the end of my 3 12’s :

17. Me giving report off on all my train-wreck patients …

But at the end of the day, even on the toughest days, even on the verge of tears, even when I say “I can’t do this”… I find the strength inside that I can do it, and I can do it with passion. I wouldn’t trade my job or my experiences for anything in the world.

A question I’ve gotten has been, “if you won the lottery, would you quit your job?”. I mean this is tempting and all but I didn’t go to school for nothing, and I am not continuing to go to school for nothing. I love what I do and it is a huge part of my life. Yeah they say we “make decent money”, but are nurses nurses for the money? I like to think it’s deeper than that!

What do you guys think? Would you quit your job if you won the lottery? Can you relate to this blog posting whether or not you are a nurse or work in another field?

Thanks for reading!