You Know You’re an ER Nurse When…

  1.  You can’t walk around town without seeing your frequent flyer drunk/homeless clientele panhandling/getting arrested/participating in other questionable activities…

    giphy2

    See you in two hours bob when you are “found passed out in park” …again

  2.   You are not shocked at all to hear that your patient with the black eyes who got the shit beat out of them was  just “minding their own business”

    giphy

    could’ve had me fooled

  3.  your patients mistake you for a flight attendant/waitress/maid…
    giphy1

    Yeah Susan, I’ll get right on that, after I finish doing CPR on Mr. B over here.

     

  4.  When you think anyone who isn’t on a critical drip or on a vent is “fine”…

    giphy21

    go home

  5. You have perfected the art of listening to a patient describe what is “accidentally stuck in my vagina/rectum” without making a facial expression…

    giphy4

    and how did you say it got up there? OH you fell…

  6. When you are more afraid of bed bugs than TB and MRSA…
    giphy11

    brb going to douse myself in bleach in the decon room

     

  7.  You can talk about room 8’s profuse diarrhea , the maggots crawling out of room 24’s leg wound and the homeless pt’s trench foot all while simultaneously eating your dinner like it aint no thing…

    giphy24

    i’ll have some fries with that

  8.  You are banned from talking about anything work related at family/holiday dinners because last year you made everyone throw up and aunt Jane almost passed out

    giphy5

    “what ? we all poop, its normal you guys”- me trying to rationalize my topic of choice

  9.  You are wish ther was such thing as nebulized/aerosolized Ativan

    giphy25

    *dreams of peaceful waiting room and happy patients*

  10. You know what a B52 is…

    e31c3ff0e5fcd62c4d7f180b24230db5

    no caption necessary

  11. Your patient in triage doesn’t want to wait  and threatens to leave and “call an ambulance and  so I can get right in to a room”…

    giphy6

    great idea carol no one has thought of that before. also surpise, you’re still going to triage

  12.  You would rather take care of a coding patient than a cyclical vomiter…
    giphy7

    *literally finds anything else to do besides take care of cyclical vomiter*

     

  13.  “Stop doing drugs”, “Stop drinking alcohol”, “Make better choices” are all legitimate d/c instructions

    giphy8

  14.  You are constantly  checking out random people’s veins everywhere you go & mentally choosing what size IV you’d use

    giphy9 

  15.  You’ve had a patient walk into triage/come in by ambulance with multiple suitcases/luggage bags in tow

    giphy10

    “better bring all these bags in case Im admitted”

  16.  You are angry for no reason, have zero form of emotion and tell the most vile stories and jokes without blinking an eye

    giphy23

  17.  Your normally noncompliant diabetic patient requests food/a sandwich because ” I am diabetic and I haven’t eaten”

    giphy26

    interesting how you don’t check your blood sugars regularly or take your insulin but let me stop everything I am doing to make sure you get a sandwich for all that insulin you did NOT take.

  18.  When you’re assessing the level of orientation of a patient and you aren’t even sure of the answer

    giphy17

    wait it’s Tuesday,right?

  19.  when you are in triage and ask the AOx3 patient who ambulated in with soda &chips in hand what their emergency is and wait for them to put on the theatrics…

    giphy14

    “pt states he literally can’t even”

  20. When your patient doesn’t want to be discharged for whatever reason (doesn’t want to d/c to jail, wants more pain medication, a warm bed to sleep in…etc) and drops the SI bomb

    giphy27

    drunkacidal is a real thing

  21.  You know that LOL means little old lady

    giphy19

    arriving by ambulance , ETA 5 min to room 5: LOL FDGB

And finally, You know you are an ED nurse when you put up with all of this, and keep coming back to work because you love your job & can’t imagine doing anything else.

giphy20

But honestly, the list goes on and on. What are some other reasons you know you are an ED nurse? Comment to share! 

**disclaimer: ED nurses are subject to some of the weirdest, most bizzare, emotionally upsetting, physically exhausting scenarios you could ever imagine. This post is meant to be something that ED nurses can relate to and laugh over, in order to cope with some of the craziness we deal with. This post in no way is meant to be rude, or hurtful to any group(s)of people– it is only meant to be satirical and something us ED nurses can laugh and bond over after a crazy day/week/month/etc.

 

 

 

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