1. When you first walk onto the floor and there are already 10 call lights going off and you just know it is going to be a good shift.
2. You see your name on the assignment sheet for the first admission…
3.Your patient has large pendulous breasts and flat nipples but insists on breastfeeding without a shield or pump. She does want your help… until you start helping and she does her own thing, which happens to be exactly the opposite of what you were trying to tell her.
4. Then there is the patient whose husband is telling her how to breastfeed and acting like the certified lactation expert…. but doing it all wrong and clearly offending the patient
5. “Im allergic to acetaminophen, motrin, toradol, oxycodone, I can’t remember the name of the one I’m not allergic to but it starts with a D…
6. When your patient s/p vaginal delivery with a 1st degree lac will not get OOB due to 10/10 pain and your brand new c/s patient is walking the halls like a champ.
7. When your patient asks you if you are even a nurse because you you look old enough to be in high school…
8. The patient who rings the call bell 2 minutes after you leave their room just as you sit down to chart and 20+ times through your shift to ask for little things like ” a cup of water” or “turn the light off” or “adjust the bed” (which are patient controlled)….
9. To the patient who tells you she had the most MISERABLE labor ever and that she is so exhausted and can’t do anything and that her whole birth plan went to waste (But in her history and records it was a relatively normal delivery with no complications)
10. When you find out you have a normal intact couplet with no social issues and a healthy baby…
12. “Please take my baby to the nursery for the night so I can sleep I am so exhausted. But no pacifiers and no formula. And I want at least 4 hours of sleep”
13. You walk into your patient’s room and her husband/FOB is in his underwear, JUST his underwear.
14. Your patient obsessing about having a BM… literally obsessing, but refusing a suppository.
15. But at the end of the day, despite all the hard work you get to punch out, go home and go to sleep!